"You don't shove it."

Some of the funny things Benjamin has said to me lately... They get funnier as you go... The last two are my favorite.

10-9-08
Erin: Do you need help?
Ben: NO. ....I need somebody to help me.
Erin: Who do you need to help you?
Ben: YOU. ...because you’re the Big Winner.

10/10/08
Ben: I’m squishing bad people! Bam! Bam! This is my sword. (It was a square wooden block with a little handle)
Erin: Why don’t you squish mosquitos? (in an effort to curb the violence...)
Ben: No, I’m squishing people. …I’m killing people. Bad people. Who don’t believe in Jesus Christ. Like the Lamanites. Bam! I just squished a Lamanite.

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Lest you think he’s all rough and tough, he’s got a very sweet soft side to him. I was cutting up a head of broccoli or something like that and he came up and said, “Oh Mom, that’s beautiful!"And he'll often tell me, " 'Job doing that, Mom. You're really good doing that.” Too funny.
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Whenever he asks a question and really wants an answer, he ends it with, "Yeah? Yeah?" It's a great way to make someone answer you, really. Since he asks about 25 million questions a day, I imagine a lot of his questions aren't answered. I guess it's his way of letting you know this question is a priority. “Are we going home? Yeah? Yeah?”

10/14/08
Background – Benjamin and I have a little joke that there is a party going on in his tummy, and his bites all get to go to the party. I think it started a long time ago when we were talking to his green beans and they wanted to jump in his mouth because there was a party going on down in his tummy. Anyway, tonight when Benjamin was finishing his dinner, Jed was holding a piece of chocolate licorice and pretending that it was talking to Benjamin. He was talking with a Southern African American drawl, and Benjamin was watching and responding directly to the licorice. This conversation went on for a long time, and I was busting up laughing. Jed’s accent was hilarious and their conversation was just so funny! Here’s a condensed version, and try to imagine Jed’s accent…
Jed: “Hey Benjamin, can Ah go to the pah-dy too?”
Benjamin enthusiastically nodded ‘yes.’
Jed: “Oh good, ‘cause Ah’d really like to go to the pah-dy.”
Ben: “No, it’s a party!”
Jed: “That’s right. A pah-dy.”
Ben: “Not a potty. A party!”
Jed: “Is there a potty at the pah-dy?”
Ben sort of shook his head ‘no...’
Jed: “You mean Ah gotta go in my pants? Oh, wahll, Ah don’t know about that… Mah mahmmy doesn’t like it when Ah go potty in mah pants.”
Ben: “No, it’s not a potty. It’s a PARTY. Can you say ‘Party?’ (in a helpful voice)
Jed: “Pah-dy.”
Ben: “Say, P- P- P- PAR-TEE.”
Jed: “Pah-dee”
Ben: “You keep saying toilet!”
**Jed and I laughing**
Jed, eventually: “Just eat me ah-ready!”
Ben, talking directly to the licorice: “Okay. (with a smile) I love you!”

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A few minutes later, Benjamin said something that had me laughing again. For background, Jed came home from work a few days ago quoting part of a Weezer song that went, “If you don’t like it, you can shove it. But you don’t like it, you love it.” Jed thought it was a pretty funny line and quoted it a few times for my enjoyment. :) Well, earlier today Benjamin was eating lunch and started talking to himself, “If you like it, you shove it…” We laughed in surprise, and I said, “Um, I don’t think we should teach him that… he’ll repeat it some time.” Jed agreed and we told Benjamin that it’s not polite to say the words “shove it.” So anyway, after this conversation with the licorice, Benjamin said to Jed, “You love it. You don’t shove it.” (Saying it with a little shake of his head and this funny ‘sweet’ intonation that I can’t reproduce in type.) Jed responded, “Oh, we don’t say-” and Benjamin said, “But I said, ‘you don’t shove it.’ I didn’t say ‘You love it. You shove it.’ I didn’t say that.” Then he turned to me and said, “Mom, I said, ‘You love it. You don’t shove it.’ That’s nice. That’s really nice, Mom.”
Oh, boy, I’m laughing right now. It was hilarious.

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Home video clip for my family's viewing pleasure.